Saturday, February 4, 2012

Guest Post - When Penises Run Amok by Patricia Green

Before we get into the article, I'd like to say thank you to my lovely and gracious hostess, Kathryn R. Blake. I really appreciate your having me here today to share my opinions.



When Penises Run Amok
 by Patricia Green

If you read romance, especially erotic romance, you might notice how things are larger than life. The women have better hair, clearer skin, brighter eyes, bigger breasts, rounder behinds. The men have tighter abs, broader chests, smaller seats, and, of course, bigger private parts. I'm wondering where the normal people go to fall in love.

Consider the fantasy hero a bit more. He's got to be tall--at least taller than the heroine. Broad shoulders are a necessity, and either bulky or rangy muscles. None of that Pee Wee Herman wimpy stuff. But, probably the most fantastical, unusual, and unrealistic aspect of a romance hero is his penis. Have you ever noticed that they're all circumcised, by the way? Those penises are described as "huge," "too big to fit," "long and thick" and "too big to wrap a woman's hand around."

Reality much? The real life average penis length is about 6.5" give or take a quarter-inch. And the average circumference is a hair less than 5". Most women can wrap a hand around something with a 5" circumference, which is about the measure of the bottom of a shot glass. Heroes, however, don't fit except in one place, which manages to stretch to accommodate said dick with amazing regularity. Never mind any possible damage. The woman will be so wet that it couldn't possibly cause injury. She might feel some initial discomfort, but we'll glide on past that into the ecstasy such a handsome rod brings to bear.

Oh, you'll say, but a woman's vagina can stretch quite a bit for childbirth. True. Does that feel good? Does it cause damage? Would you choose to do that with your partner every night?

Let's touch upon that, too: every night. Okay, that's mostly believable. But three and four times every night? Unless the hero is 18 or 20 years old, that's going to be a tough pace to maintain. And heroes are virtually never 18 years old. Too young and unseasoned.

Have I written my heroes and heroines this way? Does a penguin waddle? Of course! I've even got a hero in Daughter of the Moon, books 1 and 2, who has a cock big enough to give him a reputation among his friends. Is this real? Well, I've moved in circles where that kind of rumor has gotten around. So, it's possible. I'll go with that possibility.

Writers write what people want to read and the stuff that makes the reader find that delicious thrill and a "what if" moment. We put our fantasies on the pages, tidied up to save us embarrassment, and wrapped up in a colorful bow like a box of chocolates on Valentine's Day.

Reality can go home to cook dinner. Never mind that we'd be overwhelmed if our fantasies came true. I don't imagine any of us would survive an Indiana Jones experience, either. Fantasy is what makes books so appealing, with heroes and heroines larger than life.

Contact Info:




Blurb for Daughter of the Moon, Book 1: Surface

Sonata McLir is torn. The man she's been involved with wants her to be something she's not and doesn't want to be. He refuses to respect her beliefs as a practicing Daughter of the Moon, and erodes her self-respect.

When Mikhail Andropov discovers Sonata's confusion and his former friend's plans for the young woman, he takes matters into his own hands and gives her the encouragement and support, the loving touches she needs.

Their relationship is tumultuous, leading to a long erotic weekend which opens their eyes to the possibilities. Unfortunately, war can steal their happiness away…if they let it.

This is book one of a two-book series. The second book follows Sonata and Mikhail into confined spaces where only their hearts are allowed to run free.

M/F, erotic, speculative (sci-fi) romance, with BDSM elements.

Intrigued?  Please read an excerpt of Patricia Green's wonderfully sexy novel at: http://bit.ly/zGmE4K 

15 comments:

  1. Thanks, Kathryn, for having me here!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for being here. Great post, BTW.

      Delete
  2. ROFLMAO! This post is hilarious and so very true! We love to read the fantasy, but the reality would certainly kill us if it came true. Three or four times a night would have done me in too, even at an earlier age. LOL And I think the cock with the "reputation" is well within the realm of possibility. A friend of my husband apparently has that same reputation. But it's certainly not the norm, no matter what we may fantasize.

    Loved this post, Patricia! Well done.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This guy I knew socially had a terrible time getting dates, his cock's reputation was so scary. Poor guy. Happily for all of us, this isn't common. Thanks for coming by and commenting, Jenna!

      Delete
  3. Awesome post!! I loved it.
    I'm sure there are huge cocks out in the world, but I'm not sure I would like to be married to one, hehehehe. H.C's--huge cocks--are great in books, but I doubt they would be all that...pleasurable in real life. I don't like pain.

    And four times a night every night...yeah I don't know if I would care for that either. LOL we do have to sleep sometime.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm glad you enjoyed the post, Brenda. Sleep is good. Sex is good. It's not good to have to choose between the two. :) Kind of you to come take a look. Thanks!

      Delete
  4. Great post, Patricia! ANd so true. But even still I think I like my imaginary cock just a little on the big side. LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Casea! My imaginary guy is a lot like my husband...well, maybe a little firmer abs. He's not watching me type this, either. LOL It's nice to see you here, Casea. I appreciate your commenting.

      Delete
  5. Damn Trish, where did you get all that information about a man's penis? Have you been out in the world checking? LOL

    Sexy blogs are the funnest to write, I've written them on breasts, if size matters, brazilian waxes, male whore houses, women's sex vacations, etc. and always had a gas.

    Great blog, really enjoyed it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I get all my information from the Discovery channel...well, no, not really. I don't actually watch TV. But I *would* get it there! If you see it on TV, it must be true, right? LOL Thanks, Dee, for coming by and leaving a comment.

      Delete
  6. OMG! I still have tears rolling down my cheeks. Your post is spot on and very true. Sometimes I think to myself when I read, that's gotta hurt. ;)

    Marika

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Marika! I'm delighted that the post gave you a grin. I agree with you totally. Sometimes, I wonder if it isn't "better you than me" syndrome.

      Delete
  7. Loved you post. Just for the record, I have to say it is possible for a man in his late twenties and early thirties to do it up to six times in a twenty-four hour period. I'm just not saying how I know it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL Ella. Ah, but can he do it every night? ;) Thank you for joining us and leaving a comment.

      Delete
  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete

I love hearing from readers, so thank you for making my day! Writers with any thoughts at all (Naughty or otherwise) love comments, and I'm no exception.