Frisky Friday - BDSM, Sadism and Fifty Shades

I finished reading the Fifty Shades trilogy last week, and immediately started to read it again after I went through the extras E.L. James added to the last book, but more about that later.  I have nothing but praise for Ms. James's writing, research and character development.  All three books (told primarily in first person from the heroine's point of view) allow the reader to directly experience Anastasia's interactions and activities through her singular, humorous and at times quirky perspective

For those of you who may not have read the trilogy yet, Fifty Shades is about multi-gazillionaire (if there is such a word) Christian Grey and his deepening relationship with Anastasia Steele, a college student who is coerced into interviewing him for their college newspaper when her roommate falls ill with the flu.

Christian Grey is fifty shades of fuckedupness (in his own words) and can only relate to women through "kinky fuckery" (also his words).  But Ana wants "more."  Whenever his other subs (the fifteen) had wanted "more," Christian would quickly end the relationship.  But he's just beginning his relationship with Anastasia Steele and he's not ready to let her go, yet.  Her total candidness and innocence draw him to her in ways he never expected.  She gives him hope.   And even just the promise of experiencing a relationship outside of his dark thoughts and desires is something he secretly longs to have.

I don't want to give away too much of this story, but I will say that the journey these two take is filled with treachery, deceit and deep, consuming need.  Christian's emotional wounds are so firmly etched into his personna, even he doesn't like to examine them too closely.  So, for a major part of the trilogy, he is constantly holding a part of himself back from Ana, primarily because he fears losing her, while Ana gives him everything she haves in the hope that her love might help him heal.

Though Christian tells Ana he's a Dominant, he later admits that he's a sadist.  Like Ana, the reader doesn't want to believe him.  His psychiatrist, Dr. Flynn, says the term itself is no longer recognized as a valid psychiatric diagnosis.  He considers it a lifestyle choice that when practiced in a safe, sane, consensual relationship is a non-issue.  And Christian makes sure all his relationships and activities are conducted in a safe and consensual manner.  He's just not entirely sure they are sane.

Even though Sadism is no longer recognized as a valid paraphilia in psychiatry, "Sexual Sadism" is.  According to forensic psychiatry "Sexual Sadism refers to the derivation of sexual pleasure from the infliction of pain, suffering and/or humiliation upon another person. The pain and suffering of the victim, which may be both physical and psychological, is pivotal to the sexual arousal and pleasure."   To read more about the psychiatric definition of sexual sadism and its manifestions, please visit: http://www.forensicpsychiatry.ca/paraphilia/sadism.htm

And if like me, you aren't familiar with the term paraphilia, according to Wikipedia "A paraphilia involves sexual arousal and gratification towards sexual behavior that is atypical or extreme. The term was coined by Wilhelm Stekel in the 1920s. Sexologist John Money later popularized the term as a nonpejorative designation for unusual sexual interests. He described paraphilia as "a sexuoerotic embellishment of, or alternative to the official, ideological norm."

Unfortunately, my conclusion to this article could be considered a spoiler to anyone who hasn't read the trilogy.  So, if you're stopping here I'll end by saying that I really enjoyed Fifty Shades of Grey as well as the following books and would cheerfully recommend the trilogy to anyone who enjoys light BDSM stories with strong psychological undertones, although I would have to agree that when the trilogy begins, Christian Grey is definitely a sexual sadist.

****Spoiler Alert*****

Christian clearly enjoys dispensing pain, and he admits that freely.  However, I had no concept of exactly how much he liked it until I read the extras Ms. James had included with the third book.  One of them was the beginning few scenes of Fifty Shades of Grey told exclusively from Christian's point of view.  I'm glad I read those scenes last, because if I'd read them first, I doubt I would have have picked up the book.

In his own point of view, Christian Grey was far colder and more condescending than I'd ever imagined him to be.  I thought he was amused and a little intrigued by Ana Steele's naivete.  Instead he considered her gauche, hideously dressed and socially awkward though somewhat pretty.  He was initially bored and just toying with her to amuse himself until she asked more personal questions at which point all he wanted to do was shut her down.  Then she actually had the nerve to ask him a question his own family knew better than to pose.  Was he gay?

The moment the words are out of her mouth (not her words, BTW, but her roommate's) all he wanted to do was "spank the living shit out of her and fuck her over his desk with her hands tied tightly behind her back."  Whoa!  And here I thought he'd merely taken the question as a potential challenge with his lifted eyebrow and impassive gaze.  I had no idea what was actually going on behind the wry, urbane mask he wore, and it was a good thing I didn't.  Because if I'd known how he really felt, I'd have wanted Ana to get out of there as quickly as possible and never see the fucker again.  I thought Ana's roommate, Kate, was being a little hard on the man, but it appears she had him properly pegged, not me.

Rich or not, this guy was bad news.  He was into the hard stuff and and got off on actually hurting women, not just testing their limits.  He really was fifty shades of fuckedupness, and I no longer wanted to know what lurked inside his dark, twisted mind.  So, Ms. James was absolutely correct to not let us see the real Fifty until after the story was completed.  Those of us who tend to cringe at hard core BDSM would be scurrying away with our tails between our legs.

Christian tells Ana straight out that anyone involved in the BDSM lifestyle enjoys dispensing or receiving pain, and if they say otherwise--they're lying.  I'm not sure I agree with him.  I always thought BDSM was more about Dominance and Submission, which involved trust, control and stretching limits.  Yes, there is usually some pain or erotic torture involved in punishments, but I thought the primary purpose of BDSM wasn't to dispense or receive pain as much as it was to dispense pleasure through ways that could be considered painful in other situations.  Then again, maybe I've been wrong in my perceptions all along.  I'd be interested to hear other opinions.  I am open to learning new things, and I still really liked the trilogy.